ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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