i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
