Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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