His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
