yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
