Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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