Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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