dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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