Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
