I'm lost and stupid without you.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
