you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
