Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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