Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think I sprained my soul last night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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