is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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