Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
