you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So vagazzling was a success
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
