just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize