Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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