she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
