if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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