Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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