You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
