are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
