My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
