do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
