Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
