i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
