It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
