3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
