she woke up with a sticky ear
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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