So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
