how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize