i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
