So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
