The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
