How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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