Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
