Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
