I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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