I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
