dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
