it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
