while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pooping to opera.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
