she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
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