After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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