Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
