What did we do last night that was yellow?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
