is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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