Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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