So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
