who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it was like eating out sand paper
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
