is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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