I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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