he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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