You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
