So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize