we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
